I love Amazon. I am a Prime member and use it a lot. My goods come so fast, that I never cease to be amazed by their promptness. But then something happened; not to me, but to my wife.
She has a penchant for watches. Not any old watches, but Chanel watches in particular. Being a New York gal, with a sensitive antennae for seeking out a bargain, she researched the market until she alighted upon Amazon. The delivery was stated to be one business day, which would fit in nicely with her desire to have it for Easter.
Finding the desired timepiece, and scanning the advertisement, she noticed an adjuration to open an Amazon Store card (GE Money), that would bring her significant benefits. Not one to walk blindly into anything, she determined the order in which she should proceed. Either open the card and then purchase the goods, or vise versa. She was advised to open the card first, which she did, receiving a confirmation that the credit limit on the card was well above the amount required for the purchase.
The order was placed on April 1st using the store credit card (GE Money), and a one business day delivery was confirmed. As the 1st was a Sunday, the delivery was expected on Tuesday 3rd April. She waited-in all day Tuesday (a signature would be required), without success. When the final time for any chance of a delivery had passed, she attempted to open her Amazon account on line. Each time she tried, her password was rejected. Numerous attempts at changing the password were unsuccessful. Finally he called them using information from my account.
She was told that her watch had not been sent, and that her account was suspended pending an investigation. As the account was suspended, there was nothing the agent could tell her. She then called the credit card company who confirmed that her credit was good, and that she had not been charged anything.
Via my account she called Amazon again, only this time she asked to speak to a supervisor. It was now Wednesday, and her account was still blocked, and she still didn't have her Chanel watch. Even making allowances for the fact that English was clearly not his first language, this supervisor was strident to say the least. He did however knock-off $50 off the price, if indeed the goods were ever delivered. The only conclusion one could reach at the end of this conversation was that an unknown hand had suspended my wife's account and as such, could not be accessed by anyone, including supervisors.
It seemed clear to me that the mighty Amazon computer didn't like something about this transaction, and spat it out for review by a human. The trick now was to find this human, and ask them why? But that human could be anywhere in the world I guess, and why would Miss Alluri Sita Rama Ragu (regardless of what she says her name is), from Mumbai, care a plate of pork vindaloo if my wife gets her $5500 watch or not?
Almost a week went by, and further calls exposed an American person in America. I wouldn't say this was like finding the holy grail, but it was close. Things started to look up. This wonderful experience however, was slightly tainted by a teeny bit of dishonesty. When the American person was informed that $50 misery-discount had been applied to the order, she gasped in amazement and extolled the generosity of the award, adding that it was much more than she could grant herself. This was less than the truth, as later in the saga, she awarded a further $200 misery-discount. Non-the-less, this person was very helpful and (one must assume), due to her good offices, the order was reinstated, the account was unblocked, and a delivery was confirmed - but there was still no confirmation.
Another call to North Dakota revealed that the order had been canceled by the hidden hand of Hindustan. The order was placed again, only this time using American Express. Close surveillance of the site revealed no indication as to when the goods might be delivered until voila, an email, prompted by another phone call, confirmed delivery: exactly one week after the order was placed.
On Tuesday, one week to the day, the precious watch arrived. Was it all worth it? Of course it was – ask my wife.