I recently decided to upgrade my cell. I'm not sure why I needed to do that. It could have been in sympathy with Apples recent hit on Wall Street, or an uncontrollable desire to have the latest gadget. Frankly I couldn't give a toss about the former, so it must have been the latter.
In my ignorance, I thought switching from an iPhone4 to an iPhone5 would be almost painless; after all, I could upload everything into iCloud, and reverse the process into the new phone. Easy - the only pain would be to my wallet right? Wrong!
During a long life I have endured a number of unpleasant experiences, but buying anything from the Apple Store must be up there among the worst. Its not only the stifling crowds, its also the unshaven long haired creatures one has to deal with.
As I had anticipated, I was able to download my apps into the new phone, switch contracts and everything was cool. Well it was until I got back to my car. I listen to Pandora in my car through the MP3 connector Mr Mercedes Benz was kind enough to install for me. Trouble was, the connection is for the old iPhone, and Apple in their wisdom have changed the connection. And; horror of horrors, I can't charge the damn thing either.
I have been involved in computers since Moses was a boy, so I can handle a few little frustrations - or can I? I began to doubt it when I went to use the phone in the car. The secret communication between the car and the phone via Bluetooth, was one thing that wasn't sent down from the clouds. It wasn't going to be the only thing. Pairing the phone is not a big deal I hear you saying - and you would be right, if you could remember, or ever knew the MB pin number used to set the phone up when the car was new.
Undaunted, I headed home via BestBuy to pick up a Lighting/80 pin adapter. This little plastic thing which will allow me to connect my new phone to the old accessories cost $32. This seemed a hell of a price for a couple of pieces of tin, some wires and an inch of plastic. More about this later.
My office is festooned with iPhone connections. I am able to charge iPads and iPhones everywhere. Listen to podcasts and everything else via dedicated audio devices all at the same time. Not anymore. This was getting serious.
Another depressing realization was the fact that everything that needed a password, didn't come down from the clouds either. Plowing through a litany of user names and long forgotten passwords, I slowly re-installed the apps that are part of my daily routine. The clever way that I pay for my Starbucks coffee with my iPhone was the most frustrating. After an eternity of trying, I finally cried uncle and called a lovely Starbucks lady in New Mexico. She rescued me from the digital mire.
Now that I could buy coffee, I was able to think straight and realized that there was no way around buying more adapters. I decided that I needed three more and would buy them from Amazon. I was bitterly aggrieved to see that they were on sale for $6.00 each. You will recall that I paid $32.00 each. The founder of BestBuy lives down the road from me. He is reputed to be worth $5 billion - I can see how he did it. But then I thought to myself that nobody but a chump would try and sell something for $32 that can be bought for $6. Further investigation was in order, so I consulted the customer reviews, and I'm very glad that I did. It seems that the cheapo adapters cannot handle audio - and that is exactly what I need. So I played it safe and bought three more Apple adapters from BestBuy. This iPhone5 is becoming very expensive.
After all this I thought I was back to normal - until I drove my other car. You guessed it, the cell wouldn't pair with this one either. Range Rover's touch screen works on a hair trigger, and you need the reactions of a leopard to input a pin number, even if you knew it.
I think everything is done now, and does the new phone do everything the old one did - certainly. Does it do more? Er .....no.